Monday, February 21, 2011

And That's What We Get

A friend calls you that you haven't talked to in a long time, do you:
A) Let it go to voicemail and contemplate ignoring it completely,

B) Wonder why you haven't heard from them, hold that against them, question the friendship, but decide it is worth an effort,

C) Get excited that they called and see when the next best time is for you to meet up?

As far as having issues go and being scarred from events, I can really only think of one (or two) things in my life that qualifies. I suppose that makes me rather blessed. It is true, seventeen fulfilling years of life went down for me before I faced my first real tribulation. Long story short, my social world changed dramatically and after two years of denial and ultimately hopelessness, I finally let go of the life I once knew and forged ahead. It is only now that I see just how much damage was done. A wall went up. Nobody and no relationship has been able to hurt me since. A nerve that went numb 12 years ago remains absent of feeling. Always prepared, always ready to walk away. No one gets in.

Not healthy. Obviously.

However, always having been a fan of clever words, this poem has long been a favorite of mine. It crossed my mind today as I thought of those I've placed behind the wall. How sad for me.
Face an uncomfortable situation or continue forward? How good can forward be if you're there by yourself?
btw, my answer is C, always C.

2 comments:

Kristina said...

Thanks for this post. I was just talking to Josh last night about how I have a hard time letting people really get to know me--letting them into my life. I continually struggle to balance letting people in and not getting hurt/disappointed.

Whitney said...

We miss you! Ryan and I found some old pics of you last night, on Russ and Sharon's old computer that we recently inherited, and it made me start thinking about how much fun hanging out with you was. I hope everything is going well for you. Your kids are so cute! Next time you come into town we need to get together.