Tuesday, February 8, 2011

ICU

What a handsome devil you are with the pretty girl at your side. The first person I think of when I need to know something the world hasn't taught me yet. Still the one I long to make proud and and feel I should check in with if I'm going to make big plans or be home late. You prepared me very well for this world.

It saddens me that I didn't have much time with the healthy soul I see in the man above. It is not that I don't understand how hard it is too stay healthy. I am pretty sure my whole body makeup came from you so I feel like I really understand the struggles of our particular flesh (minus the major health issues.) What I don't understand is whether or not you realize how fragile your life is. My big strong leader is sick and you've been sick for so long. Now you are 1500 miles away and my worst fear of losing you while I am out here seems more real then ever. It is not natural for me to have to think about losing you when your own dad is still on the lose.

I am so frustrated. I hate that you have to deal with so many health issues but you are going to get out of there. Will you do what it takes to turn things around? I don't want to live in fear of losing you too soon anymore. Do you view this as the end or do you plan on living out the last third of your life? Things have to change if you want to be here with us. Our family needs your example and guidance. There is nothing I won't do to help you get better. Are you willing to fight as hard as I am because I refuse to live with the fact that you died long before you should have.

2 comments:

Troy and Amanda said...

Trish, I read this a while back and didn't know if I should have left a comment or not. I hope your dad is doing well. I sure think a lot of him even though I haven't seen him in over a decade. Love you tons. Good luck and keep me posted.

Kristina said...

I'm so sorry about your dad. I hope things are going better. Please know that I think of you often and hope you are doing well. xoxo